Sit down at Red Bamboo and there’s a couple beside us.  I *think* the situation was that they used to date, but aren’t currently dating, and the guy was trying to reconcile/win her back. He was suuuuuper weird. So it get’s REAL interesting when the girl starts crying and is trying to leave.  Aggressively puts her coat on, and the dude is like “no, wait, stop,” and she’s all “You can’t tell me that you’re suicidal and that it’s because I didn’t try hard enough.”

o_0

“You can’t put your whole life on my shoulders.”  ”I’m not, but I will if you don’t sit down.”

Shit’s getting real.  Creepy hippy dude starts laying on the cheese. “I love you more than I ever know. Now I know, but it’s too late. You’re so in control of your emotions…”

“I’m a teacher, that’s what I do.” 

“I know I’m less than you, and I’m a loser, but….”

and so on.  Then…THEN….I’m just trying to eavesdrop with my ears and not my eyes, and I hear talk about a box and so on.

“No ones ever gotten me jewelry!” - Girl is now crying again and impressed?

“Well, you always wanted earrings. They’re pearls.  (something something) so when I think of pearls I always think of you.”

So they leave.  And a trio of young college kids take their place.  They’re mostly ignored until I realize the young man with the two ladies looks just like Steffon from SNL. No sooner do I realize this, the kid is like ‘OMG YOU GUYS. BEYONCE IS GIVING BIRTH.”

And one of the girls in the trio said “But I don’t really like barbecue sauce…,” and I said out loud “It’s just barbecue sauce.”

Thanks strangers, for letting me have a surprise show with my dinner.